The Single Greatest Choice

S7, Ep 2: Super Sperm Donors, Off-the-Grid Insemination, & Unconventional Family Planning with Valerie Bauman

Episode Summary

At a certain point, the reality of our finite fertility hits every single woman who desires motherhood. Suddenly, waiting for partnership no longer feels like the safest bet. When this realization hit today’s guest, Valerie Bauman, she knew she had to take control of her own destiny. Valerie shares her journey to solo motherhood during the pandemic, a time when dating seemed nearly impossible. At 38, she realized she couldn't wait for the perfect scenario of meeting someone, dating, and eventually starting a family. Instead, she made the empowering decision to pursue motherhood on her own. What followed is a story of resilience, empowerment, and breaking away from societal expectations.

Episode Notes

Valerie Bauman, is an investigative reporter for Newsweek, solo mother by choice, and author of one of my favorite memoirs in the solo moms space, Inconceivable:Super Sperm Donors, Off-the-Grid Insemination, and Unconventional Family Planning. I devoured Valerie’s book during a 30-hour airport layover, and by the time I finished, I felt like I had spent the day with her, getting to know her as a friend.

We dive deep into Valerie’s journey, from her experience considering sperm banks or a close friend to ultimately finding a known donor on Facebook. She openly discusses the emotional challenges of navigating this path, including a heartbreaking miscarriage, before welcoming her now 3.5-month-old baby boy. Valerie's story is a testament to the resilience and strength of women who, as she puts it, "intentionally build what they want."

Our conversation also touches on important topics such as the bioethics of the sperm donation industry, the anxiety that often accompanies pregnancy, and making empowered choices as a mother. If you’ve ever felt torn between the life you want and societal expectations, this episode will resonate deeply.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Valerie’s decision to become a mom during the pandemic and what sparked her journey;
• Navigating the sperm donor process and finding a donor on Facebook;
• The shift from considering traditional sperm banks to seeking a known donor;
• Her miscarriage and the emotional toll of almost accepting life without motherhood;
• Anxiety during pregnancy and the struggle of waiting for the other shoe to drop;
• The power of creating the life you want as a woman—regardless of societal norms;
• Bioethics in the sperm donation industry and the need for better regulation;
• And more!

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